PASTOR'S MESSAGE: February 2012
In a calendar year that seems ominously full of quirks, finding St. Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday barely more than a week apart from each other could be interpreted as just another arbitrary placement of days and dates. However, to those of us who have made a career of being vigilant lookouts for mystical signs and wonders -- those who prefer the pursuit of greater meaning over the acceptance of random coincidence, it is also possible to interpret the positioning of these days as symbol of a significant spiritual insight about the relationship between love and forgiveness. For not only are love and forgiveness related, they are inseparable -- like two sides of one coin. We truly cannot have one without the other.
Our faith tells us that human beings were created, first and foremost to give and receive love. Even the secular study of psychology will support the supposition that beyond the most basic survival needs of food and shelter, loving relationships are next on the list for human fulfillment. And yet, almost every day I come in contact with people who are suffering; and the pain that is twisting up their lives is almost always in some way related to their inability to secure and/or heal their primary loving relationships.
Isn’t it strange that this one thing we all want and need so much -- whether it be with one special person, a small nuclear group, larger extended families, or even among members of communities – that it can be so fragile and illusive for us? How can it be that in a land of so much material abundance, this fundamental emotional and spiritual resource seems so scarce?
Here’s a hint, take a look at the February calendar and consider for a moment the popularity of Valentine’s Day compared to the relative obscurity of Ash Wednesday. Right there is some pretty solid evidence to show that that as a culture we are vastly more interested in superficial celebrations with hearts and flowers than we are in digging deeper and doing our time in sack cloth and ashes.
The truth is we want love to exist on our terms. We want it to look a certain way, act a certain way, and make us feel a certain way. And when it doesn’t, we believe we have been wronged. We hold on to those slights and hurts and perceived injustices and they fester. We expect others to make it right and until they do, there can be no more love between us. Thus, in spite of our own best intentions, we become sour and demanding. In a heart full of “me and my righteous suffering,” there’s not much room for anything else.
So now hear the Good News!
All love, starts with God’s love, it flows from God into us as we develop an ability to feel the love in, and of, ourselves. Then, when we are filled, we cannot help but overflow that love on to others. It is always there for us, free without strings. All we have to do is believe and be willing to let go of all the other junk that is clogging up our hearts.
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All love starts with humility and surrender of ego. (Thus the sack cloth and ashes.) We come to God, open to seeing our imperfections, our mistakes, our immaturity. We come asking for forgiveness and the will to “repent,” which simply means to change direction. God offers this to us always, and when we accept it love takes root. We then become able to offer this gift to ourselves – to forgive ourselves and be willing to make amends and start again in a new direction. After that, we are ready to offer this to those around us – not because of what we want from them, but because of what we have to give them. We can forgive and love without reason or response. What happens next is between them and God and we’re okay with that.
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We become clear and open to the reality that love is everywhere and can come to us in a marvelous variety of ways.
And so we take of our sack cloth and wash away the ashes, renewed and recreated. And, if you ask me that definitely deserves some chocolate and flowers and XOXOXOXO’s.
Love always,
Pastor Rachel
